Compost Showdown

Saturday, 30 Aug 08 (posted about 3 months ago) Rainy 20°C / 68°F

Oh how disappointing- just typed this whole thing out, hit ‘submit’, got a 404 error, hit ‘back’ and the box was empty. I YELLED, I was so annoyed. Typing a story out the second time just never seems to work as well.

But. Anyway. Today I donned gumboots and gardening gloves, armed myself with a shovel and a bag of gardening lime, and tackled the bad compost. I chose today because the temp is low and there’s a light rain, which I figured would help keep the smell down. I shoveled out the entire bin (ow my aching shoulders!) because it was too sunk down into the dirt to just knock it over as I’d intended. Then I mixed up what I’d shoveled out with dried leaves and lime, and shoveled it all back in again, making sure it was all integrated pretty evenly.

It was a pretty interesting, if utterly revolting, experience. There were very distinct layers to it, which told a story as you went down: in the top layer is the results of my efforts since I’ve arrived, a mostly-processed compost with plenty of worms and materials that are breaking down fairly evenly. Below that is the layer of evil, where entire melons and coconuts, rotting but intact, explode with noxious gas and liquids of a consistency I have only ever encountered in my nightmares. In that layer there are plastic candy wrappers, take-away containers, decomposing teatowels, and an entire kitchen drain-trap (WTF?). I pulled out all the non-organics and attacked the rest with the sharp edge of the shovel, breaking it into smaller pieces.

Most surprising though was the bottom later, about a foot or so through to the ground, which was actually a thick, slightly damp, but otherwise perfectly processed compost, packed with more worms than I’ve ever seen in my life- and not a random bit of rubbish to be seen! It made me think that once upon a time, back when this compost bin was set up, someone lived here who knew how to manage it, and who gave a damn about putting in the time and effort to keep it processing well. Then they moved out, and the well-meaning but clueless people who remained just chucked the often-questionable contents of their kitchen scrap bin in there, figuring that was the ‘virtuous’ option over throwing it into the garbage bin. Then I arrived about six months ago, and started the long and arduous process of rehabilitating the maggot-infested, cockroachy, slimy vile slop-heap they had created.

It was hours and hours of work. By the time it was over my shoulders were seizing up and I was spattered head to toe in noxious gunk, the smell so wretched I couldn’t even stand my own company and had to strip off and dump all my clothes in the washing machine on my way through the house. I have hope that it will be worth it, when that compost becomes a usable commodity (which I don’t think is too far off, given that the really manky, anaerobic parts only accounted for about 1/3 of the total materials, and it’s now thoroughly mixed with all the happy aerobic layers).

“I admire your dedication” said one housemate, watching me launch myself into battle. And I thought, well, if I don’t make this compost heap work then it is just another random, useless object cluttering this yard, an obstacle that performs no function. And if it’s going to get done, it’s going to be me who does it. So I did it. And here’s to hoping that the dedication of an entire Sunday afternoon to the cause turns out to be worth it.

Want to comment?

Katxena wrote:
Wow. You are my hero. I probably would have hired someone to cart it away. I can’t imagine dealing with that stinky mess. Good for you for attacking it head on!

Posted on 31 Aug 08 (about 3 months ago)
Cmagnus wrote:
Well done. :) Someday soon your plants will thank you for the effort.

Posted on 31 Aug 08 (about 3 months ago)
Rainymountain wrote:
Great description of what happens to unattended rubbish heaps. I bet there was a real satisfaction in tackling an obnoxious job that no-one else would do and finishing with a well-ordered compost heap. Two thumbs up

Posted on 31 Aug 08 (about 3 months ago)
Nax wrote:
Kudos to you! But, what, no pictures of “what gardeners look like?” ;P

Posted on 31 Aug 08 (about 3 months ago)
Glittertrash wrote:
Thanks for the cheers, all. I’m so glad I have an online community of gardeners who ‘get’ why I’d do that (and how much work is actually involved!) because if I was relying on my housemates for reinforcement… well, lets just say they’ll be excited when the veggies hit the table, but they probably won’t make the connection between all of this work and that future moment.

Nax: hah, that would have involved standing still in those clothes for long enough to press the shutter on the camera, which was not an option by that point. I suspect there may have been actual visible waves of pong coming off me. Even the dog wouldn’t come within three feet of me, and she rolls in rotting who-knows-what for fun.

Posted on 31 Aug 08 (about 3 months ago)
Sparky Klystron wrote:
“an entire kitchen drain-trap”….LOL

Posted on 01 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)
Matt Middleton wrote:
Jeebus, that middle layer is bizzare…I have trouble getting my head around people putting that kind of crap in a composter.

Posted on 02 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)
Zengirl wrote:
Thankyou for making me laugh so hard I now have a sore tummy!!I am glad there are other loyal gardeners willing to do it all to achieve the goal of a beautiful garden.I look forward to reading about your other adventures in the land of green.Happy Gardening!!!

Posted on 03 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)
Knowlesie wrote:
I have been wondering about your name ‘Glittertrash’, now I understand.
You have my Magnanimous approbation and thanks for a great read.

Posted on 04 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)
Mondomuse wrote:
You are my hero! Never afraid to get down and dirty with the task at hand. I recently refered to Glittertrash, the unabashed queen of composting in a recent post.

Posted on 06 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)
Trixtah wrote:
Urgh. I feel personally affronted when people screw up compost heaps. How hard is it? (I’m not talking about techie-geeky hot piles – a cold pile still works well if it’s added to properly)

Good on you for getting to it. I haven’t encountered composted coconuts myself! The smelliest thing I had to deal with was when my mother misunderstood my suggestion she bury duck bones and giblets in the garden in autumn ready for summer. She put them in plastic bags before burying them… and they were really matured once I encountered them when digging the garden over in spring.

Posted on 07 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)
Cricketk wrote:
Well done you!

It sounds like it was slightly less hideous than I expected it to be, though still foul. And now it’ll no longer be a blight in your garden.

Huzzah!

Posted on 08 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)
Cricketk wrote:
Oh also, if you get another 404, try ‘refresh’ rather than ‘back’. Refresh re-posts it – just click yes when the postdata question come up.

Posted on 09 Sep 08 (about 3 months ago)